Monday, August 24, 2009

Mr. Webster Takes A Dirt Nap

After having lived with a human for even the brief period of time that I have, it has become painfully obvious to me that none of you understand the mind of the cat at all. Therefore, I have put together this handy-dandy reference guide of definitions, which should help you immensely. Read it and weep.

Ariel's Quick Reference Guide to Understanding Your Cat

Human = Servant; he/she who opens cans, cleans poo, and moves their big butt over so I can have the choice spot on the bed.

Food = Anything that moves, breathes, or tastes delicious.

Litterbox = Not a specific location…more of a destination; anything that looks and/or feels comfortable; anything that should be destroyed for its own good (i.e. Grandma Smith’s handmade pea green blanket from 1979).

Cat Fancy = Required reading for all humans who are allowed to live with a cat. Attention Humans: take good notes. There will be a quiz later.

Cat beds = Huge waste of money. Your bed is so much more comfortable.

Dry cat food = Proof that humans do not understand cats in the faintest.

Your heart continuing to beat = You’re welcome.

Newspapers, magazines, important mail = Great for shredding and keeping our teeth sharp

Wildlife = Backyard smorgasbord = Delicious!


  1. Actually I like my cat bed. It beats sleeping with the human who moves WAY too much and is far too big!

  2. We will be sure to show this list to our human so she will get a better understanding! Great list!

  3. Ariel, I think you have advanced the cause of human-feline understanding! I hope all peoples read this.

  4. Ariel, you are the mistress of succinct humour!
    You've got it down to a science. Really, you should publish a book.

  5. So so true...but as for the dry food...well I like dry food when there is no tuna or other fishy flavours available

  6. That's a great list to add to my definitions for my mom.

  7. That is a very good primer for humans.

  8. We like your definitions much better than Mr. Webster's...

  9. You did really goods on this☺ We hope that you's does another installment next week☺

  10. What a great blog! Thanks for the important information!!!

    We have missed visiting with you!!!

    Love, uSSSSS