Thursday, June 21, 2012

To-do….Or, Not.

Hey lady! I am highly suspicious that you think I am, dare I say, slightly unmotivated.  While I would never use such a vile adjective to describe my slightly fluffy self, I do feel it necessary to defend myself by showing you that yes, I do have goals, in the form of a daily to-do list. Gnaw on THAT for a minute.

Ahem. So let’s get to today’s list. You’ll notice the first item is already completed. I have marked your furniture. It is mine. It is where I sleep, where I leave my “opinion” of your dusty dry gravel that passes for food. What’s that you say? I am not physically able to mark your furniture because I am a female? Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do! If I say it is marked, it is marked! Anyway, on to number two…excuse me? There are no drapes in this godforsaken place you call home? I cannot eat what is not there? Does the word “exhibitionist” ring a bell? Whatever, lady. You can’t stop me from completing my to-do list, and I’ll tell you another thing…What? What? You don’t HAVE new pillows to be shredded? Looks like YOU'RE the one with the to-do list.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Did you miss me? Of course you did!

I’m baaaack! I know you’ve missed me, suckas! I’m older, wiser, and just a tad bit fluffier around the midsection. Where have I been, you ask? Well, let’s just say it’s none of your business! Ok, ok, “someone” cut off my access to the internet due to “bad behavior.” Whatever. I’m bored already.

In case any of you care, Okie and I are doing great. We have been keeping busy, building an ark from empty tunafish cans in preparation for the zombie apocalypse, and creating origami from dried bat wings. Now THAT was a delicious project! I never did actually get to the origami part, but oh well. And I have been broadening my knowledge base and learning about things like Twitter- sounds yummy! I don’t really care for bluebird so much, but I guess they’ll do.

What have YOU been doing? Not much, you say? Yes, that’s just what I thought.