Mrs. Fizzy's 7-layer bug dip
If you're always looking for a good recipe like I am, try this delicious 7-layer bug dip. You can make it with ingredients you already have hanging around the house!
1 can seafood pate
35 fireflies, dewinged and lightly breaded
14 large black ants (the plump, juicy kind)
2 dozen horseflies, well mashed
45 earwig heads, toasted
23 black beatles, gently sautéed in a pound of butter
A pawful of ladybugs (for color)
Catnip, to taste
Open can of seafood pate (ok, ok, grudgingly ask pesky human to open can of seafood pate); spread generously in large baking dish. Lick at will. Layer fireflies, ants, horseflies, and earwig heads in a circular motion until the pate is covered. Eat the fleas. Toss black beatles into the baking dish evenly. Dot the top with ladybugs, making a smiley face pattern with their corpses. Throw tomatoes in trash can. Cover dish with heaping spoonfuls of catnip, then bake for 1 minute at 350 degrees. Unlock jaw; enjoy.