Monday, July 27, 2009

Life's a Beach

Hey lady. Hope you had a nice time at the beach. Did you encounter any "surprises" along the way? Like maybe something white on your shoulder? What's that? No, I would never dream of hiring a seagull to send a message. How could you think I would do something like that? Shocking! No, I just wanted to let you know that next time, you'd better take me along if you know what's good for you (read: if you don't like Tootsie Rolls in your shoes). I went on Ebay and ordered these stylish yet functional sunglasses. I must insist you find me some catnip-flavored suntan oil and a 500-threadcount beach towel- preferably in the blue color family. Reds make me look washed out. I also will require a large picnic basket filled with a delicate assortment of baby mice ears, smoked Gouda, lamb tails, and a nice chilled Piesporter. Oh, and a PUH- that's Personal Umbrella Holder to you peons. I suppose that can be you, if you insist. Now that we understand each other, get busy! You've got lots of work to do.

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