Monday, July 20, 2009

Interview with a cat

Okie: Hey Ariel, everybody’s talking about the unemployment rate here in Michigan. I thought maybe we should practice our interviewing skills in case we have to look for work.

Ariel: Work? I already have enough work bathing, napping, and putting up with these numbskulls we live with.

O: Ok, ok, I know it’s a long shot. But I thought maybe we should practice answering some questions anyways, just in case.

A: (sigh) Well, I suppose I don’t have anything else to do right now, at least until someone gets here and turns on Soapnet.

O: Ok, first question. What are your strengths?

A: A keen wit, wily intelligence, and ravishing beauty.

O: Uh…yeah. What are your weaknesses?

A: Definitely chipmunk tails, oysters on the half shell, and the Wine of the Month club on QVC.

O: Define cooperation.

A: That’s when you stand on my shoulders and we take down a family of cardinals with no weapons but our own cunning.

O: What problems do you have getting along with others?

A: None, as long as they do my will.

O: Are you willing to take calculated risks when necessary?

A: Absolutely. One time I calculated that a mother bunny stayed away from its nest for 92 minutes every morning starting at 7:32 a.m. If I could consume one baby bunny per 14 minutes, and there were 7 bunnies in the nest, why, I could almost finish the whole nest by the time she got back. And the risk was very minimal!

O: I don't think this is going very well...

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