Allow me to give you the pleasure of introducing myself...

I thought I'd start with a photo of me in my adolescence so you can see how adorable I was. Ah, youth. How naive I was back then. I thought that by bestowing the gift of my presence upon my current, totally lackluster "owners"- sometimes referred to as Can Opener #1 and Can Opener #2 - opposable thumbs being their main redeeming quality - that I was making a wise decision. They spent so much money on me, I thought I had it made. I envisioned myself lying in front of a large stone fireplace, on a fluffy pillow, of course, at our winter lodge; our summer home would be a small mansion in the Hamptons, which I would reach by flying first class to a waiting air-conditioned limosine. Imagine my disappointment in discovering the absolute ordinariness of C.O. #1 & 2. They work for a living, for Pete's sake! NOT what I signed up for. But, given my utter lack of opposable thumbs, I can't reach the phone to dial for help. So, here I sit, on a very ordinary (probably Wal-Mart) pillow, and wait to share with you, the world, the fascinating details of my daily life. Check back often- you won't want to miss a word- er, meow.