Sorry, Jenny

Hey lady! I saw that diet 'food' -and I use that term loosely- you are trying to pawn off on me. I'm not overweight! I just have big fur. Ok, well maybe I have indulged just a tad too much as of late. But nature offers so many tasty delicacies, how can I resist? I tried to cut back, really I did.

I know that I have a penchant for lunch

Morning, noon, and night, I do like to munch

But it seems my collar, it fits no more

I can barely squeeze through the litterbox door

This is a problem I must try to fix

A little less bacon, some more Meow Mix

But it's not as easy as it should be

I have a weakness for pigeon with a nice cup of tea

I did some Pilates, tried to kickbox

Then took a break for some bagels and lox

Next I decided to try Jenny Craig

But they kicked me out when I gnawed on her leg

(Hey, it looked like a giant drumstick. So sue me.)