A little kitty ditty

Ok, lady. I can see you're getting ready for a nice little day at the beach for yourself- don't worry about me one bit. I'll be fine here in this stuffy little hovel you call home. Just do me a favor before you abandon ship, and post this little ditty I came up with during one of my naps. And if you know what's good for you, you'll bring me back one of those Drumstick thingys.

There was a young man named Jim

It seems he had three chins

But all's for the better

Get the rye and smoked cheddar

I'll make a sandwich out of his limbs

An Ode to...Me, Of Course

An Ode to Me

Roses are red, violets are blue
My favorite thing is avoiding you
You might think that I’m cuddly and sweet
But baby bird filets are my favorite treat

I like chipmunks and squirrels and woodchucks and mice
But my best recipes are not very nice
Cream sauce and pesto, marinara too
If you fall asleep, I might try them on you

I think people like you are a necessary vice
Someone’s got to clean up those leftover mice
I cannot help it, I’m just being me
Now bring me some bacon and a nice cup of tea

I’d love to stay and chat for a while
But I’ve got some business to do on your new tile