To-do….Or, Not.

Hey lady! I am highly suspicious that you think I am, dare I say, slightly unmotivated.  While I would never use such a vile adjective to describe my slightly fluffy self, I do feel it necessary to defend myself by showing you that yes, I do have goals, in the form of a daily to-do list. Gnaw on THAT for a minute.

Ahem. So let’s get to today’s list. You’ll notice the first item is already completed. I have marked your furniture. It is mine. It is where I sleep, where I leave my “opinion” of your dusty dry gravel that passes for food. What’s that you say? I am not physically able to mark your furniture because I am a female? Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do! If I say it is marked, it is marked! Anyway, on to number two…excuse me? There are no drapes in this godforsaken place you call home? I cannot eat what is not there? Does the word “exhibitionist” ring a bell? Whatever, lady. You can’t stop me from completing my to-do list, and I’ll tell you another thing…What? What? You don’t HAVE new pillows to be shredded? Looks like YOU'RE the one with the to-do list.