Can't touch this

Hey lady! I noticed you trying to pet me this morning. Did you notice I bathed immediately afterward? There’s a reason for that. I don’t like to be petted! I am very fluffy and beautiful, and I know that makes me irresistible to humans such as yourself, who have nothing but decidedly unfluffy and boring skin to cover you. But hey, that’s not my fault. Just to give you a little better idea of why I don’t want you touching me, I wrote this little rhythmical literary piece:

Don't touch me

Because I said so

The last person who did

he bled so

At least he isn't dead, though

So that's something.

Don't touch me

Because I said so

I told you that from the get-go

After all this time

you should know

I don't like you.

So don't touch me

How can I be more plain

Pay attention

Or there will be pain

Mmm, your arm is delicious!

Chipmunk Kabobs; A Reflection

Roses are red, violets are blue

I’m ready for a barbecue, how about you?

Summer’s almost over, so what do you say

I’ve got some baby bluejays I’ve been waiting to slay

I’ll roast them up nice on the charcoal grill

With a splash of lemon and a pinch of dill

Oh, baby birds are my favorite snack

Just sneak up behind one and give it a whack

No barbecue is complete without a side of cardinal stew

Better watch out, or it might include you

Squirrel and bacon and corn on the cob

If I see a chipmunk, I’ll make a kabob

I think some bird’s nest soup would make a fine start

I’ll knock one from that tree with a well-aimed dart

This nest is full of eggs! glad I didn’t use bow and arrows

Goodbye, baby birds; hello, huevos rancheros!